Party Doll

Back in my wild child party days (circa 2005-2006ish), I met a girl that I worked with at a credit union. She was beautiful, one of those beachy looking hippy-Buddist types. Everything I wasn't, but for some reason we hit it off famously. We soon became attached at the hip. We did everything together. Our favorite things to do- aside from going out- was shop at Ross and go eat Chinese food.

It's kind of a long story, our falling out. One night, we were out as per usual our weekend routine, drinking and dancing and having a good ol' time. Kelly, my BFF, was holding onto this girl's phone- we'll call her D- since she didn't have any pockets. At closing time, I drove Kelly home, where she told me that D was getting text messages from a guy I had been seeing. Questionable texts. Texts that made her phone ring the song "Dirty Little Secret" from All-American Rejects. I'm not making this up. I wish I was.

Turns out, they had been..."seeing" each other behind my back. I'd never been that decieved by...anyone, ever, in my life. To this day, she takes the cake. Even now, years later, I have nightmares with her in them. I know it sounds pretty pathetic of me, to let someone affect me so. But this girl was someone that I thought was going to be a friend for life. So what if we were so different? Why was that so bad?

Soon after that, I moved to Florida. We hadn't spoken since. Then, yesterday, I got a message from her on Facebook. Funny how Facebook can bring back the past in an instant. I'm still not sure if that's a good or bad thing. She apologized. She said that she knew she was wrong, she knew she hurt me, and she hated that. She said all the things she needed to say to me three years ago.

What's a girl to do? I wrote back, accepting her apology. I told her that it wasn't HIM that was the problem- he was trash, and I quite honestly do not know why I was so hung up on him in the first place. But it was the fact that SHE betrayed me. She ruined a friendship that was important to me. She made me feel disposable. I said all the things I needed to say to her three years ago. It felt right. It felt good. I felt lighter and better and satisfied. The fact is, we are both different people now. We are both out of the party phase. While I don't regret a moment of it- I really do think its something I needed to go through, something to get out of my system in order to be a better person, wife, mother- I do think it should only be a phase. We're both married and are mothers. She's going to college. We've grown up. And, thankfully, we've both moved on from that useless boy. : )

I doubt things will ever be back the way they once were between us. Between the fact that we live so far away and things are just so different now, I don't see it happening. But...I'm not opposed to being friendly. My heart is smart enough to know when to accept an apology, even if it was a long time coming.

Maybe that was a lesson for both of us to learn.